Stephen Speaks's posterous

All God's Creatures Have a Place in the Choir

I heard that in a lyric recently. It made me think. 

It made me think about the current state of politics in America--where people spend more time criticizing the views of others than espousing their own beliefs, in the 'public square'. It appears that being a critic is more politically correct, and safer, than stating one's own beliefs. But I can see why--when one does state an opinion and the massese descend on it in critique...well it's a vicious cycle.

The current presidential race is proof of this phenomenon--there is rarely a point-blank listing of positions by a candidate. All of the air time is spent railing on the opponent and how bad they are, or how dangerous they will be if elected. Or in stretching the truth to put a negative spin of misinformation out there to cloud the details of their own record. It's a sad state--and sadder that the majority of voters rely on the media for deciding, for them, who to support.

I don't like it.

This world is an amazing collection of individuals with different experiences and perspectives. We do better when we all discuss the issues fully vs. fighting over them. Instead of fearing diversity we should embrace it and appreciate the exploration of various ideas. We need to discuss and discuss and discuss more--but avoid resorting to personal attacks on the voice, or the person using it. That just leads to states of dictatorship.

America was founded on the belief that every voice had the right to be heard, Sure, it also guaranteed the right of others to voice disagreement--but not to disparage the person as inferior if the perspectives conflicted with there own.

Feel fre to disagree with me, even argue with me...but don't attack my person. 

Quality of life: a matter of perspective

I have had half of my pancreas removed, 25% of my stomach chopped off, 2/3 of my liver sliced away, and several other organs 'altered'. My stomach looks like a frankenstein mess. I have surgery induced diabetes, painful scar tissue from multiple 'drillings' in my side, neuropathy in my legs, and ongoing bouts of fatigue. I can't eat red meat (ribs, ugh), nor the sweets I used to enjoy. I wake up to swallow pills and go to bed after giving myself a shot. Not to mention the ever-present black cloud stalking me of "what's next?" with my cancer.

Okay, I could choose to dwell on all that and mope through life bitterly, "just sitting around waiting to die" (Townes Vand Zandt lyric). Or I could choose to focus on the fact that I am upright, after two near death experiences and months in hospitals, and have a loving family around me. I live in a small but warm (love-heated) house in a small but friendly town--nothing fancy. And I have a Harley and amazing roads to get lost on, on it. I just have so much to be thankful for even though my life is forever changed and uncertain.

So I work to make the choice, daily, to be thankful--to consider that I am blessed. I remind myself that each day is a precious gift and I need to savor every second of it. Granted, when I wake up each morning in pain or low on sugar or feeling lousy, I have to purposely change my thoughts to those of Jonah (my grandson) or my life-mate in the next room, Karen, or my children who are safe and prospering, or just the fact that I am alive--still upright.

When people ask me about my quality of life I make the choice to share the good parts of it and not the bad. It's a matter of perspective. In spite of all the difficulties of life, I choose to feel blessed.

Why Cancer Survivors Make Great Employees

In our overly negative society, people most often view cancer fighters, and survivors, with a suspicious bent at work. They question the future--will that person be out a lot, will they get sick during a big project, will they miss a lot of work for treatments, can I depend on them? On and on. Flat out, there's a standing prejudice in the workplace against cancer victims.

But if folks would actually stop and look at the issue, and the person's situation, they'd see that fighters are a superb candidate for overachieving. Face it, anyone who can continue working when faced with mortality and the ongoing difficulties of treatment is one tough individual, and most often tougher than their peers. And highly motivated.

Cancer fighters want to live as 'normally' as before diagnosis and remain valuable, needed, wanted, and successful. The illness is a distraction but does not define the person--or shouldn't. That means they remain committed, even more so, to moving on and living fully. Sure, their perspective is changed and life balance is important, but the fighter is just that--a fighter. And all companies would benefit from embracing that truth and promoting the battle tested individual to lead in other assaults.

Knocked down but standing.

The ICU doctor asked me and Karen if we had a recessitation order. How many times should they try?

Tears came to my eyes and Karen and I just looked to each other, stunned. It was immediately sobering realizing the severity of my condition.

Backing up just a bit, I was in the hospital after suffering from what had started as fevers and chills and had escalated to a critical blood infection with abscesses in my liver. I was in sepsis. That’s when bacteria invades the blood and basically tells the body to start shutting down. My heart was fluttering, my blood pressure was below 70, I was throwing up, my fever was high and I was shaking uncontrollably.

The ICU doctor thought I was dying. It never occurred to me—I just knew I felt horrible. A few days later, my oncologist told Karen that she’d saved my life—literally—by getting me to the Emergency Room just as my body began failing. I had almost died.

So began a long bad journey from near-death to a removal of 2/3’rds of my liver and 12 weeks of a strenuous recovery. It was horrible from start to finish.

I spent several weeks in the hospital very ill before all of the doctors agreed that the only way to heal the abscesses and blood infection was to remove the sources of the infection. The surgery would be radical—4-6 hours to shave off most of my liver and get rid of all the mess. The remaining liver was healthy and the liver regrows. It was a chance to start over, relatively speaking.

I awoke from the surgery in pain, confused and afraid. My family informed me that the surgery was a success and that while they had my liver exposed they did an ultrasound and found no tumors in the good part of the remaining liver. So it was a great relief. In days I was feeling great—the infection was gone. I was released within a week. Sent home to spend 12 weeks healing from a severe incision that was leaking profusely, returning to eating after having lost 30 pounds, and learning to sleep and walk again. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.

Looking back, now, I realize that the hardest part was mental. Sure, the healing was tough. I was completely without energy and could barely make it through a day upright. My wound was open and healing slower than normal. My body was swollen from water retention. I couldn’t sleep. Every day was a battle. But again, the worst part was mental as I had way too much time to wonder if I’d ever be healthy again and resume a life worth living.

Karen drove me hard—she took me on errands and got me to walk. Every trip ended up with me back in the car—I couldn’t last more than 15 minutes. She got me to hold Jonah and out for short walks in his stroller. She fixed up the hammock in the back for me and I laid there for hours soaking up the healing sun. She helped me eat again. She wouldn’t let me lay on the couch all day even though my body longed to. She took me to New Orleans for my brother in law’s triathlon and ‘made’ me enjoy the scenery, odd collection of people, and amazing food. Her efforts paid off—I started gaining stamina, was laughing more, and began to believe there was life yet to live.

Fast forward and here I am working again, riding my Harley, spending time with family, loving Jonah, eating well, painting some, and feeling great—physically and mentally. Life has returned. It was almost as if, at the 12 week mark, I woke up feeling as if I was back to normal. My liver regrew to 95% its original size and my weight was back up to a healthy range. I am sleeping normally. It’s a great life, again.

So, behind me is the pain, the nasty weeping 6 inch incision, the high fevers and excessive vomiting, the lack of energy to stand, the constant digestive issues, the sore joints, and most of the worry. Ahead is life with my loving and supporting family and friends and lots of miles on the bike. With a few good paintings in there too.

Karen saved my life and I am so thankful, even though now she expects me to do chores, lift things, and get up and on with ‘it’. I am blessed.

The Truth

As many of you know, I have been battling pancreatic cancer for a little over 3 years. I've undergone the Whipple--a 'bitch' of a surgery. A radio-frequency ablation--fairly routine. And a chemo-embolization--like anything with the word chemo associated, not fun. IN between I've spent many weeks in the hospital for side effects, tubes placed, blood diseases, complications, etc. 

Finally, the specialists all agree it's time to remove 2/3 of my liver.

That's the VERY SHORT history. Think TV show "HOUSE" for how it's really been. : )

With that context: Several people along the way have complimented me for being a fighter, brave, a survivor, gracious in my disease, positive in spite of it all, on and on. I appreciate those comments. I'd rather be known for that than being bitter, a defeatest, angry, etc. At the same time those comments have made me think--am I being real? Do people perceive that only because I post when I'm well vs. ill? That I only share the good stuff--since I know most don't want to confront the bad? Am I being honest?

All good questions.

So I thought I'd take a few minutes and tell you some things that perhaps I haven't expressed before. Some that might share more on how I really feel.

Here goes.

Cancer sucks. Having it sucks worse!

I am really mad at cancer right now. I have always been mad that I have it. But in the past few weeks I've seen too many I know newly diagnosed--all people like me. People you'd never expect. Nice people. People who don't deserve the plight, not that anyone does. It's been hit home from another side. I used to 'know of' people with cancer. Now I know too many acquaintances suffering from cancer. It's really pissing me off.

Why does this disease need to be so insidious, so unfair, so belligerent? Why does it affect so many families? Why isn't it being cured? Yeah, I woke up this morning really mad, at cancer. I hate you cancer. I hate you.

I'm not a noble fighter.

So many like to romanticize the idea of a person battling all odds and fighting off death. I don't believe that's 100% accurate. I've found you have little control. Yes, one can think positive, set goals, aspire (to stay motivated), but it's mostly taking a day at a time and hoping the body cooperates. So I don't think of myself as a victorious soldier as much as a stubborn scrapper who does his best to get out of bed every day, that's all. One step, one day at a time. That's all the fighting I can do. I'm not noble.

I'm certainly not positive all the time.

Ask my wife, Karen. She'll tell you how many days she's held me while I bawled like a baby--from fear my grandson would never be able to remember me, or that I'd never be able to enjoy all that I've worked so hard for, or...    Believe me...having this cancer scares me! Especially when the docs keep referring to 'buying time' vs.talking cure. So there are plenty of hours where I lose it and imagine the worst. My days are emotionally draining--hours of tests, consults, specialist after specialist. It wears me down. I have my moments.

I cannot survive on my own.

Wow, first lesson learned: if you're gonna have cancer you need family and friends. A STRONG support network. From a great sis-in-law who sits with me at 5 a.m. just to make sure I get my pain meds. To a daughter who send me pics of my grandson daily to cheer me up. To a son who buys me magazines for the down time. To a wife who bathes me and dresses me so I keep some pride. To a mother who, in spite of her own issues, wants to be with me to make sure I eat and walk. To a niece who babysits the bulldogs so Karen can be with me. To a b-in-law who grills me fresh fish when I am home. I could go on and on.

And having a primary caregiver (what a burden she carries) as my advocate. The docs know to call her. : )  Karen tracks all of my care and keeps the dots connected for me. I couldn't make it without her!

So whenever you imagine I am fighting, consider I have a dynamo behind me, pushing me, encouraging me, holding me. I have family who is here for me. I am not fighting alone. When I'm down they carry me.

I want to live for different reasons now.

I have been talking to friends a lot about, "Making memories instead of accomplishments". It's my new mantra. I no longer live to work. I work to live. (Cliche but true). I work to play. I live more of my family. I spend way more time with them. I appreciate everything. I talk to strangers. I hug people. I cherish small things. My life is way simpler. I live for the memories, not the accomplishments.

These are some of the truths.

It's no longer good enough!

A Reminder

In my career I’ve learned how tough it often is to instill new ideas into the minds of others. It takes stubborn and repetitive evangelism to promote new ways of thinking. Personally I get a tad frustrated when, after saying something for a year, someone suddenly perks up with their own personal epiphany of the identical thought I’ve been promoting. But hey, if that’s what it takes…

So the subject of this post is about trying, yet again, to get a principle seared in minds. It’s one more reminder to wake up and have ‘your epiphany’ sooner.

The reminder is this: REMEMBER the fact that a fundamental and monumental change has already happened! And this principle MUST be paramount to anything and everything we do relative to marketing, from now on.

Memorize the principle: “It’s no longer good enough to be in front of people. Now, it’s only good enough to be with them!”

Let’s break this down.

“It’s no longer good enough to be in front of them.” Traditional marketing has always taken the form of advertising (to call attention to, in a boastful or ostentatious manner”, dictionary.com). Intrusive placements that shout at people to stop and pay attention. It’s only worked when the ‘target’ altered their mind-path to focus on something thrust in their face. Advertisers have treated people like an ‘in-box’. Just keep bombarding the in-box and hopefully 1% will respond. We’ve known for a long time that the ever increasing consumer control of channels and mediums is erasing the viability of that approach. Shouting intrusively is as effective as screaming at a wall.

“Now, it’s only good enough to be with them.” The recent iPad launch is the best reminder of this new reality. The trend that’s been taking shape for years (phones, Xbox, etc.) is no fad—it’s now a standard. People own and often carry devices with them that connect them at will, to whomever they choose, whenever they choose, wherever they choose, and however they choose. They connect through a multitude of devices and social spaces, private places, and mediums. Face it, they own the on and off switch to almost all media—and frankly, brand relationships.

Being with them means to recognize a consumer’s power, will, choice, control, and to stop shouting! To simply have a conversation. It means being visible, useful, usable, desirable and engaged. It means being aware, active, agile, and relevant in their mediums, channels, and networks of choice. It means NOT being intrusive but ‘there for them’, on demand.

My hero Leo Burnett summed it up well when he inadvertently predicted the power of interactive in saying “Make a friend before you make a sale”. Leo would’ve been a master of this new age…

Now, traditional marketers’ would argue they believe and practice the same—be where the people are. But they still typically take the same old approach—“Let’s place an ad on that iPhone app!” That’s not what I am talking about. Being where they are and with them are two very different things. Just being where they are and trying to capture their attention is very different than being with them in the ways I’ve described. Being visible is only the first step in developing a relationship via a branded interaction.

We can no longer shout ‘at’ a target—we have to relate and interact ‘with’ a customer. After all…they now carry and own the connections, the touch-points. They decide when to turn the button on to connect, or off, or click elsewhere. They decide what they will give their attention to—and when.

Simply put, stop thinking about placements (being in front of them) and focus on building a relationship with them (being with them). Instead of thinking about ‘reach’, think about offering useful ‘branded interactions’. Relational interactions that offer immediate value.

Connectivity and device explosion have fundamentally changed the way we need to think and behave as marketers. We can no longer afford to approach every assignment with the intent of driving traffic to a site. The days of thinking computer, site, and pages are passed. We have to think relative to the new reality of consumer, on-demand, and control. And offer useful, usable, desirable, and engaged branded interactions as they wish, choose, decide, and control.

Duh.

“It’s no longer good enough to be in front of people. Now, it’s only good enough to be with them!”

 

Full service self service

I've written about the self service dynamics of the web. How the internet simply enables a growing 'want' for control, etc. But this morning I was reminded just how prevalent that standard is becoming--offline too.

Re: I walked into a convenience grocer to grab some food for my train commute. As I was putting the change in my wallet the guy behind the counter reached down for the usual plastic bag, to carry it in. But I was slightly stunned when he simply handed the bag 'at me' as he was turning away, chatting it up with a coworker. I thought, "Wow, nice thank you for my hard earned dollars/trade..." But then it hit me that perhaps this standard has become pervasive and companies are no longer training their employees about customer service, or they don't care, or they simply assume customers want to do everything themselves.

For instance, we do have a lot of restaurant chains where you order in line, wait for your food, then are expected to clean up after yourself. We are pretty accustomed to picking up our hotel rooms or even making the beds to adhere to 'green policies', etc.

But I am personally appalled by the growing lack of respect given to customers (me specifically). Like airline employees are now bossy and rude--more there to tell you what to do than attend to you. Store clerks act as if they're doing you a favor by helping you find an item. Bank tellers literally tell you that  you should use their site more. You dare not return food in fear it will be spat on. On and on.

What happened?

As a kid I worked at a pizza joint and I was told the customer was always right. To make it right if they had a complaint. I was taught to be polite and say thank you after every transaction. And later in life I learned that clients valued being spoken to respectfully. So what's up with this new indifference? Rudeness? Especially when the economy is teetering? 

Perhaps companies could find a competitive advantage by being nice. What a concept, eh?

A few more illustrations:

I went to a motorcycle dealer to buy a new helmet. The woman at the store spent the entire time with me telling me how she refused to wear one. I literally had to ask her to go get me the size I wanted. Then I had to wait at the counter for her to finish her conversation with another worker and acknowledge I was ready to check out.

I was in the Denver airport Friday evening and found a pizza place open. While in line I noticed a worker taking all the remaining pizza off the pans and putting it into containers. When the guy in front of me said, "I want that one (pointing to the pizza right out of the oven), that same worker said, "No, that's mine too..." I realized he and the others were cleaning up by taking all the pizza home for themselves--all while I an about 7 others watched in disbelief.

I ordered some shoes online. The order went through and about ten minutes later I got an email telling me it was cancelled--on backorder. So I went back to the site and ordered a different pair. Same thing. So I emailed their customer service asking if three other pairs I might want were in stock--to avoid another order. I received a curt response telling me they didn't know--as they order from the factory as orders come in. Didn't know? Yet all on their site as if in stock? He didn't even bother checking the SKU's of the three I listed in the email. Wow.

So, little surprise how everyone rants and raves about the Zappo's model. And how they're willing to pay higher prices at Z's because of the service. That's what it's come to...pay extra to get what you deserve. Maybe the airlines could make more money by paying for a button you can wear that says, "I paid extra for you to be superficially nice to me today." A better strategy than charging for bags, these days.

What stories do you have to share? Perhaps we can 'ask' companies to treat us better...

Can I get an addiction please?

I was talking with a friend today and we ended up discussing Tiger Woods and Jesse James. Not for their respective reasons for fame but their recent claims to fame--sex addiction. That led us to talking about the real issue--total a-holes who just won't take responsibility for being a-holes. It's way easier to blame an 'addiction'. Tiger claimed he was just taken over by the consuming desire to, you know... Hey, I'm a guy. I sort of know what it's like to see a hot babe, but guess what...I've never chased one (since being married).

Okay, so I don't have a sex addiction I guess. Maybe I just don't understand just how difficult it is for a rich, famous, have-it-all celebrity to keep his pants on. But my suspicion is that Tiger's just an a-hole. And I suspect he and Jesse find it easier to sleep at night feeling like they're duping the world into feeling some sympathy for them--because they have an addiction. Or by telling themselves they have an excuse for the abhorrent behavior and clear lack of respect for their wives. And that they can be presumably seen as much a victim as people who really do suffer from addictions--drugs, alcohol, and real sex addiction. Shame on them.

So, while on the train of thought--shifting responsibility for a scapegoat--I was considering what addictions I'd like to use to deflect some responsibilities. What about a couch addiction? That'd be a great excuse for not going to work. I could tell everyone just how every waking thought is consumed by the lust for laying on my couch watching Tivo'd episodes of Pawn Stars. Eating popcorn is a symptom. Not showering is part of bottoming out. Nice...

Or maybe a motorcycle addiction. I could avoid all my family responsibilities by being diagnosed with an addiction to the winding roads of the country. "They keep calling me!" Tiny voices in my head that make me hit the road when I know I should be going to bring the bacon home. It's terrible--that craving for the excuse to wear leather and all...

Seriously, what about something more dire? Like a bizarre dog addiction. Ooh, sounds creepy and like it must have a deep psychological cause. The constant want to walk my dogs, play with them, feed them, take them to the vet, on and on. Or just petting them...and petting them. That's disturbing isn't it?

I like this idea. Instead of 'manning up' and taking responsibility for my actions, or being an a-hole, I can just pick some thing out and claim to be addicted to it and blame it for all my misdeeds. Easy enough.

Only thing is, I can't in good conscious act as if any of them compare to the true suffering addicts endure when oppressed by really dark obsessions, many of them physical. Same reason I can't see why Tiger and Jesse feel so comfortable making a joke of the people who really are addicted, and need help, by pretending to be as dependent.

I think their only real addictions are self delusion and lack of moral character.
 

Advice to brands: Don't Grow Up!

I recently had customer service experiences with 2 small brands. In each, it was the owner who responded to my inquiry. What I enjoyed most, besides the simple contact with the entrepreneurs, was the transparency, genuineness, and believability of the responses. Each took the time to really understand my issue and respond meaningfully. I didn't get 'pat' scripted answers or defensive lashings, I got polite and actionable responses. As a result, I have adopted both brands into my sphere of trust. Kudos.

Now, in contrast, I have experienced many larger brand responses that did the exact opposite. It seems that as brands grow they sometimes adopt attitudes, processes, canned scripts, defensiveness, etc. They often start acting like they're doing the customer a favor as opposed to earning the customer's loyalty.

It's a simple lesson. Grow but don't grow arrogant or complacent. Every single brand interaction has the potential of resonating far beyond that single point of contact. Do it wrong and averages say about 10 other prospects will hear about it. That's negative resonance. Unfortunately when brands do it right fewer hear about it--the nature of our culture. But it shows that a little can go a long way--in both directions. Do it right and you gain a friend, perhaps for life. Do it wrong and you become famous for the wrong reasons.

Btw, those two brands who are on my list of favorites now: 

1) Rusty's Hawaiian Coffee http://rustyshawaiian.com/  Lorie, the owner, sent me the coffee and did all the service via email. She even went so far to ask 2 other experts how to brew her coffee in a Chemex (since that's what I use). Rusty's has the price-of-entry product (the Bourbon varietal is to die for!), but goes far beyond delivery. Rusty's keeps it one-to-one and shares its enthusiasm for their product's use, and value to me. Love 'em!

2) Cigarplace http://www.cigarplace.biz  Julian responded to me about an issue fairly unrelated to any order. I made a comment regarding an email blast and he took time to explain why he was featuring this certain brand I didn't like. He could have easily discounted my feedback as some disgruntled quack but instead wrote me a polite note and urged me to keep writing--that he valued the input. Wow. I have ordered from these folks before and now will do so again. 

My advice to both of these brands: As you get famous (they are/will), don't grow up and become prima donna brands. Stay innocent and honest and concerned. Stay in touch with customers and build relationships. Sales will come, naturally.

10 reasons why I am quitting my job today.

1) 9-5 no longer works for me. I find my most productive times are from 6 am to 9 am and then from 7 pm to around 10 pm. Yet management seems obsessed with appearances in the office, still. With all the connectedness I have access to, and with my peers located all over the world, I can't be confined to getting real work done AND being glued to a chair to meet outdated expectations. Plus, where's the measurement for all the work I do 24/7--via texting, the phone, Facebook, my blog, on and on? I just can't be successful within old paradigms.

2) I seem to get paid to travel yet the expectations are for productivity. I can no longer accept the idea that I need to produce deliverables while spending most of my time at airports, on planes and trains, in hotels and various places of transit. Something has to give. My productivity is limited by the expectations that I need to commute all over the country--to 'work'. If the perception is that my merit and value is in thought leadership, affecting change throughout the organization, weighing in on matters of corporate importance, etc., and yet my true activity is tied to being in multiple places for meetings. I can't be successful that way any longer.

3) I can no longer know everything, all the time. And then be expected to write about it, spread my knowledge, and influence momentum for my company and my clients. I can barely keep up with all the change--even when immersed all day, all hours, all the time. Change happens so fast in this business, and the world in general, that I am simply overwhelmed--like most--and cannot meet the expectations of being in the know about every innovation and happening. I can't read all the blogs I subscribe to, read all the Tweets of influencer's, read every WSJ article, listen to every podcast, keep up with YouTube, know the daily fad...whew. It's just too much for any one person--especially me.

4) The lines are too blurred these days when it comes to role. I am, by title, an Executive Creative Director, and yet I am expected to provide strategic direction, inspiration, technical expertise, marketing insight, statistics on ROI, know all the trends, be up on the latest research, know why Foursquare is of value, spur utilization in my department, increase collaboration across disciplines, show progress to a board, run interdisciplinary councils, write, speak, judge, work on corporate mission...oh, and still focus on innovative ideation. I can barely focus on any one thing let alone cover all the increasing areas of contribution.

5) I hate the term EBITDA. Or is is EBIDTA? See, I can't even get that right. And largely because I really don't want to be a financial guru. The word utilization is like scraping fingernails on a chalkboard, to me. I don't like revenue calls. Or spreadsheets with pipeline forecasts, billable trends, and such. I cringe when I get an email demanding I have my merit evaluations in by EOW. When did I even start talking in these terms? My art school never had a course in stretch goals, KPI's, metrics, attribution models, leverage models, and all the other terms I choose to refrain from using. I got into this business to build brands...not massage excel documents.

6) Interactive still doesn't 'get' what we are really in business to do--and that's marketing. Building brands. Moving brands forward. Providing value to consumers. Serving customers on behalf of our client's brands. And management has forgotten that if and when you do that, and well, the company reaps profits--because clients will seek us out and beg us to do it for them. When they succeed we succeed and multiply. This isn't about technology, or selling services, or designing widgets, or making Flash experiences, or focusing on hourlies. It's about gaining mindshare for brands and delivering value for their customers. I don't want to be in the business of business--I want to move brands forward via valuable, branded interactions.

7) I hate what the acronym BS stands for now. I began my career assuming it stood for BrainStorming. Now, far too often, ideation is more around climbing the ladder, or maneuvering for fame, than it is creating ideas that matter. Again, the naive me always believed that great thinking and even better execution would take care of all things relating to profit, and gain. I miss the days when innocent, idealistic, altruistic creative's got in a room and fantasized about the what-if's that could change the world. And we got paid to do that. Now it seems like we begin sessions with project plans, hours we can spend, do's and don'ts with the client. I am tired of concentrating on practicing presentations when I should be focused 100% on an idea that will make them famous.

8) I HATE that we now talk in terms like 'social strategy', Facebook tactics, Twitter campaigns, viral attempts, iPad POV's, yada yada yada. Whatever happened to the simplicity of, "What's the big frickin idea?" Why do we now talk in terms of channels, even fads, or hot trends, when we should be talking in terms of 'ownable position' and strategic idea? 'Nuff said...

9) I am sooo tired of 'calls'. We get 5-10 people on a call and everyone pontificates, argues, talk semantics, throw words around like 'synergy' and 'action items' and 'next call...'. I spend so much of my time on calls. I get to wear a nice little headset and sound intelligent and defer action items to others who made the mistake of missing the call. I have to listen to people I've never seen produce anything tell me what a deliverable should look like, contain, do, and so on. I have to be real polite and listen to everyone's ideas so my performance review wills state that I am collaborative...a team player...inclusive. When I first started in this biz my CD's were jerks who said it was their way or the highway and they acted like prima donnas, cussed, spit, offended, all in the name of brilliant work. Because that was ALL that mattered. I would be fired if I were to scream and throw my pencil at the wall while on a call and have people believe I was doing it from passion for excellence. So, I guess if I am to be fired for that I might as well quit now.

10) April Fools. I love my job! I am NOT quitting. But not for any of the reasons above. I love it because I get to work with smart people and I can still entertain the notion of changing the world, and company, in which I live--to do better work. To do things that matter and are good for others. To leave the world a better place. Call me naive but I still believe. And I work at a company where we are getting it done.